i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
