He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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