I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
