Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
