Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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