you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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