that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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