he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
