I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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