I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
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Do I have a choice?
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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