I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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