so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
