They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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