Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
