He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
