Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
