If that was your dad, he is hot
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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