I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
