R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
