He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
