Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
