Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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