i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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