That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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