I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize