there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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