just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We don't watch enough power rangers
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
