I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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