Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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