You just made me feel so damn special
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
