maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
