Are we in a gay sports bar?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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