I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize