i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
