The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize