it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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