My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
