Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
