get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
