he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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