If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
