Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
