you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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