Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dick very happy bro
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