FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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