Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
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Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
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But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why did my mother make you get naked?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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