Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
