i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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