He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
