if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
