Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
