Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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