I have demons in me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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