i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
